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Columns : Family and Youth Empowerment Last Updated: Feb 13, 2017 - 1:45:37 AM


Mistakes Parents make with Teen Discipline
By Pastor Wayne Carey
Oct 10, 2014 - 2:59:54 PM

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Have you ever experienced the result of a relationship that was broken, and asked yourself the question, where did you go wrong?

When a relationship with whom ever is ended, it didn’t just happen; an accumulation of events transpired and now you are seeing the results of it.

When disruptive behavior shows up in the lives of their children, parents seems surprised. However, it develops when parents lack consistency with their children. This is one of the mistakes that parents admits to, and can become costly in the future.

The parent/child relationship is similar to a teacher/student relationship. When counseling children, they have a difficulty of doing well in a teacher’s class that they don’t like. When a parent comes to that period of teaching their children some values that they don’t appreciate, the child then reacts as if the parent is the enemy.

I have worked with children who have shown antipathy towards their parents for not listening to them. Children can be very mischievous at times, but they also need an ear that would listen to them. When children are not heard they will find someone to listen, and it’s normally the wrong persons. When children have gone too far, parents then come to admit that they made a mistake by not listening to their child/children.

The ancient manuscript states be ye angry and sin not (Ephesians 4:26) One of the mistakes that parents admits to is punishing their children while in anger. The things that was said and done to our children in anger, we as parents owe them our deepest apology. Punishing your child in anger doesn’t convey the right message. Many parents abuse their children while punishing in anger, the best way to get a message across to your children is to be calm about it.

When children are at a young age parents allow them to get away with murder (figuratively speaking). Parents admit that they have accepted a certain behavior from their children because of age that they shouldn’t have tolerated at home. After children have grown to a certain age, some parents then allow their children to parent them. What a tragedy!

Parenting today’s children have become very challenging with all of the devices that are competing for our children time and attention.

Parents have admitted to using guilt rather than reason. Using guilt is a poor way of getting our children to respond to us, reason and logics works best; it helps our children with coping skills.

I must remind parents that your home ought to be a place of refuge, peace, and contentment; it should really be a haven for your children to come home to. When parents are stress for various reasons they admit to attacking their children rather than confronting the problem. When incidents like that happens it usually affects the parent/child relationship in a negative way.

Sometimes parenting can become very complex at times, the parent’s tent to lose a sense of humor with their children . It sometimes sends a message to the child that is very easily offended, that you as the parent are no longer enjoying the child’s company.

One of the other mistakes that parents mention is not allowing their child/children to fail at any cost. Sometimes in allowing our children to fail can be the most valuable lessons that parents can ever teach them.

There are some mistakes that can be corrected easily with a little work, and there are others that we can pay a life time for if we are not observant.

As parents we must not make the mistake of having unrealistic expectation for our children.


Pastor Wayne W. Carey is a Youth and Assistant Pastor- Counselor- Conflict Resolution Strategist- Author- Speaker- Self-Esteem Elevation Coach Contact: Covenantman44@yahoo.com


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